brain cramp

the past few days weren’t quite well.. not that i had any problems or anything, it’s that i just feel so empty these days. i’ve been feeling like there’s this hole in my life. something that’s filled with a shitload of boredom. but then when i think about it, i did choose this life when i broke up with my ex. actually it’s been grat, really.  more time, more focus, nobody cornering me into talking about things pointless and all that. in a way though, i kind of miss all that. all that, but not the person really.. i know it sounds real bad but that’s how i feel. it’s really messed up. what’s worse is that of all the people that i could possibly miss, it’s my very first ex who keeps my mind running in circles all the time. i think it’s pathetic of me. all these years and it’s her who keeps me up at night. her who the last time i have talked to or heard her voice in person rather was how many years ago.. my mind has been playing tricks on me again. it’s like it’s taunting me. and you know what? i don’t want to do anything about what i’m feeling. it’s been too long and our lives are different now. i would only be making things hard for myself and maybe make her feel bad along the way.. besides, a girl like her would probably have somebody whom she loves. somebody whom she loves more than she loved me. can you guys see what a piece of crap scenario my mind is in? maybe i do still have the same feelings for her.. but im sure she has the same feelings for somebody else. i guess i’ll just follow my own advice and forget about everything in my past and keep in mind that right now, love is the last thing that i need.

no breather

i just can’t take it man. i don’t want to have anything else to do but study, skate, and bum around. studying and just chilling around the house go together mind you. they’re very very important for me. what’s the use of just relaxing if you don’t study right? my point is, those three elements alone are very vital for my everyday life at this point. problem is, that’s all i can take man. anything else other than skating added to my day my head will explode.

the heat

i can’t believe my friday is the way it is. after getting home from the tutor i spent my time just browsing the web. wasn’t able to complete collegehumor.com’s “street figher: the later years”. it was so effin hilarious but that can’t beat the effect of the sunny afternoon on me. yeap, i felt sleepy despite all the laugh trip skits on youtube. so yeah, i went back up to my room, lied down, and tried to sleep. and guess what, I CAN’T. the afternoon sun turned my room into an oven! so after my fruitless attempt to indulge my sleepyfied state, i am now watching grey’s anatomy downstairs.

now, what is knocking at the back of my head is, “is tonight’s party gonna be this boring?” god, i hope not! i’ve been looking forward to this since last week man! it really sucks coz during the midweek, some people from the ‘kada can’t go all of a sudden. just when the kada’s getting back together. oh well, we’ve got other birthdays and parties to go to anyway.

know what also sucks? jp and the others are in forbes right now, probably bombing hills as i type. THIS EFFIN SUCKS! i don’t even have my board with me yet, martin’s using it right now. really look forward to getting it back.. in one piece! hahaha, but i doubt that shit like that would happen. anyways, there you have it. a hot friday afternoon, the first day of my weekend. boring. a lot of stuff going on out there and im not part of it. oh well. haha

rest

i just noticed that i’ve skipped a whole term man. hahaha, i guess 2nd term was too much of a hectic one for me. i must say, it was bad. 3rd take in trigo. that sums it up to “it was fucked up” i guess. well, new year, new term, new me. hopefully i could pull myself together and make it this time. i swear i’ll be damned if i fail again this term.

i hope that i could get everything i want at this point in my life. grades and fun. yeah, those are basically it. a course card that has at least (it’d be better if it were higher than passing) 1.0 in one hand, and my board on the other. oh yeah, i totally forgot about mother nature!! THE BEACH!!! i really wanna go out of town this summer. Batangas at least. it’s okay if i won’t be allowed to go to bora with the ica people (although it wouldn’t hurt if i finally get to go to another island other than luzon). as long as there is a beach. hahaha! i better get one of them wayferers! haha, i don’t even have a clue how it’s spelled. i just want to chill. i NEED to chill. nothing else on your mind but that hill, the beach, or even the loss in mahjong. hahaha! can i just go to sleep and wake up on a vacation please?

board-om

i can not wait til i get my board back. i swear im gonna skate the very first chance that comes my way. i MUST bomb soon! even if it’s just in talayan im game for it. GOD i miss my board. i named her megan. hahaha! must see her again soon!!!!

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Term Break

Got this book from Martin before our trip to Matuod, Batangas. it was really tempting to read on the beach but then i think that would have been similar to the three of us listening to our own ipods (clearly a waste of beach time). well, now that i’m back in manila, i’ve got all the time to read. haha, although school already starts in a couple of days. i hope i would have already finished by then.

the post on batangas will be up as soon as i get the pics. patience is a virtue!

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stress.. and lots of it.

it’s been a very very hectic long week. it’s such a shame that the long weekend that the government set up (no mondays=no algebra=fail algebra) has been up to no good. i had the whole weekend to work on my drafting plates but i’m afraid that was up to no good. my englcom compilation was missed out as well, so all the work that was meant for the weekend was left for the first 2 days of what was left of the week.

i feel like hell right now. everything popping up all of a sudden. requirements coming from nowhere. how come i never get to find out about things way earlier?? gaaah. oh well. that’s college. i’m just looking forward to finals. which reminds me. i have to study..

~

i just got a message from dom. football tryouts tom. o.O here’s another one of those popping-out-of-the-ground-like-a-mushroom thing again. i dunno, i love football but then, im not mentally prepared for this. plus there’s a storm coming in. hopefully it comes tomorrow night so that the tryouts will be postponed once again. schedule it after finals pls? hehehe. it’d be real nice if i do get to play though.

well, that’s all.

til the next one!!

 

isn’t she cute? i woke up this morning and heard pawsteps in the hallway. turns out she was able to make her way up the stairs. it was as if she wanted to go exploring or something. haha! she’s like a kid! so cute. :p